Eight dates Summary: A Speed dating Guide for a lifetime partner:

Eight dates Summary in 1 Sentence:

Check your Partner trust, conflict management, intimate views, working life financial ideas, family expansion, adventure, spiritual beliefs and (Purposed or aimless)dreams in 8 Dates conducted separate, calmly. 

The book provides you with 8dates for couples by John Gottman. Each date associates with vulnerability. 

Listen to your partner with attention, questioning, nonjudgemental, accepting and empathetic way. 

You know about Partner beliefs, choices, attachments and situational response with these 8dates. 

Each Date associates with a specific topic. It covers an area that each partner should consider in life. 

Let’s dive into Eight dates Summary with questions;

Trust for long term relationships:

Trust is Basic for a long term relationship. It comes through commitment to stay loyal in all circumstances. 

Know your trust values. Identify the trust values in your family. 

Identify the actions if trust ends. Common trust issues come through;

  • Not prioritize partner. 
  • Not present in partner’s trouble time. 
  • Develop lies and have secrets. 

Share the times your partner don’t trust you. Various changes can happen for trust-building. 

Your partner’s trust definition matters. Resolve trust associate issues and weak spots about it.

Choose the usual spot or activities. It shows the time and loyalty association. Encourage your partner with trustable events from the past. 

Trust checking Questions;

Will you be there if I’m hurting? 

How important am I to you?

[Read “So Good They Can’t Ignore You” Book Review.]

Managing conflict ability:

Conflict always arises when two people live together. The Conflict grows you as a couple. It’s impossible to avoid it. That is a better way to explore your partner. 

Understand feeling and validate it. Identify triggers that initiate a fight. Take responsibility and do things differently. You can identify the resolvable problem instead of blame games. 

Identify each other differences. Be willing to adjust through Partner’s preferences. 

Share the priorities topic. Share Family views towards priorities. Experience in conflict handling. 

Choose a private place. You may have an emotional conversation. 

Conflict management questions;

Is there a deeper purpose or goal for you in your position on this issue?

How do you feel about anger? 

Disclose sex and intimacy views:

Sex and intimacy make relationships healthy and passionate. Talking about sex is difficult but become easier as you do it. Openness about sex allows having more sex. The passion killing thing in a relationship is an intimate connection. It’s apart from sex. 

Share thoughts about ideas associated with sex and intimacy. 

Discuss sexual experience, triggers and fantasies. Choose clear words with an open mind about sexual anatomy. 

Choose any private or public place with quite a privacy. 

Sexual connection Questions;

Where and how do you like to be touched?

How can I enhance our passion?

The working style associated with money:

It comes to relationships, Money influence most. Work demands your time and energy. 

Money Means for each person matters. Balancing work and relationship life is crucial. An extra working or lacking disturbed relationships directly. 

Discuss the Parent’s financial views. It includes savings, vacations and expenses.

Share fears and hopes about financial stability. Talks openly about family Financial history. That’s about money means of your partner, not budgeting.

Choose a place where both feel financially stable. 

Avoid Financial choice manipulation. 

Financial Questions;

How do you imagine your work changing in the future?

What is your biggest fear and hope around money?

Choices about family and children:

Family expansion is essential. Having kids is a crucial life decision. 

It can children adopted, foster or pets. Honest about your children and envision it. 

Couples relationships are far Crucial than children. Childbirth reduces couple marital satisfaction initially. Avoiding conflict and maintaining a sex life is crucial. 

Share your values and never criticize your partner’s values. Never develop marriage thinking before the discussion about family expansion. 

Choose a family-friendly place for family expansion discussion. 

Be honest about children desires. 

Family expansion Questions;

What do you think you will love about being parents together?

How are we going to create a sense of family?

Value of adventure and fun:

Playing and adventure are essential for a Joyful and Successful relationship. It gives the experience of novelty and adventure. 

New experience boosts the dopamine level. Explore and value each other adventure sense. Give and get the curious and excited feeling with your partner. It gives reasons to stay together. Never adds fear and criticize his views. 

Find all possible ways to have fun with your partner. Develop a list about it. 

Choose any creative place or activity associated with fun.

Discuss adventure meanings for each other. Share the adventures you want before death. 

Adventure Questions;

What does adventure/play mean to you?

How do you think we could have more fun?

Recognize Changing belief direction spiritual level:

Change always happens in relationships. Assisting each other to grow is enticing. It can be a transformation source with a contribution. Develop shared meaning and connection links with spiritual practice. 

Ready to share your mean goals. Get partner views about your goal. Identify your old age accomplishment. 

Share humbleness and curiosity about Partner Idea. Discuss your threats Rather than stop him. 

Choose a peaceful place to chat about it. It can be philosophical. 

Discuss and compare each other goals. Know about Partner Beliefs and inner peace. 

Spiritual belief Questions;

What carries you through your most difficult times?

How do you find a sense of peace in yourself? 

Encourages each other dreams:

Valuing each other dreams yields lifetime love. Other Dreams are also crucial, like relationship dreams. Sacrifice is essential towards dreams completion. Express your love by acknowledging your Partner Dream. Never sacrifice life purpose or life dream for a relationship. Never be practical about it. Ask about your Partner childhood dream. 

Identify the partner’s role to fulfil them. 

Choose any beautiful place that relates to aspiration. 

Share the purpose that links with Dreams. Share hopes and aspirations about it. Develop a dreams list associated with stories. Never devalue Partner dream. 

Dream questions;

Did you have any dreams for yourself when you were a child?

How would you feel this dream fulfilled or not?

Frequently Asked Questions:

What are the 8 Gottman dates?

It includes Trust, Conflict, Intimacy, Workstyle and money, Family expansion, adventure, Growth and Dreams.

What do 8 dates mean?

It’s about discussing 8fundamental Topics on 8 Different dates.

What do John and Julie Gottman do and why are they considered experts in this field of study?

Both practised and researched long-lasting relationships for 40Years and wrote books.

What are the 5 stages of dating?

These include; attention, being, loyalty, intimacy and curiosity towards each other.

When to sleep with a guy you’re dating?

Your 8Dates duration is enough to sleep with a guy.

How do you ask a guy if he’s serious about you?

Asks Questions associated with 8Dates to find his seriousness towards you.

References:

I am a student of success, loves to motivate you towards life. I survived through depression as 19 Years old. I write on Habbitts for 2 Years. A Self-help enthusiast guy keen to provide you with life-changing wisdom and mindset. I give you the best habits which I extract from the literature. I write in the light of world changer mentors. My Quora Profile: https://www.quora.com/profile/Shamaz-Abraham
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